After school, bullying is emotional abuse rather than bullying, which means it is dangerous in a different way.
What is bullying?
When someone physically hurts you or verbally attacks you, that’s bullying.
Some specific types of bullying are:
- Racist bullying because of the colour of your skin or your ethnic origin
- Homophobic bullying because of your sexual orientation
- Religious bullying based on belief or faith in religion.
- Cyber-bullying on the internet, often anonymously
- Harassment because of your height
- Gender-based harassment because they are of the opposite sex
- Bullying because they are different
Bullying can be one-off or long-term. And anyone can be bullied.
Ignoring bullying will not make it go away. You need to tell someone what is going on.
If bullying happens at secondary school or college
Talk to your parents/guardians and your teacher. Your teacher may have no idea that you are being bullied and the school may have an anti-bullying policy to deal with it.
If you don’t feel able to talk to your teacher, maybe a friend can do it for you. You can also talk to a school counsellor, social worker or nurse.
Here are five things you can do if you are being bullied.
1) Writedown everything and talk to someone.
Take some time to make some notes about the bullying you are experiencing. Include the date and time of each incident and who witnessed it. If you have been a victim of cyberbullying, be sure to take screenshots or keep copies of everything. It is also a good idea to email a parent or friend who is not on campus so that they too have documentation of what happened.
You don’t have to deal with it alone. Although it can be embarrassing to share details of what you experienced, it is important for your health and well-being to share your experience with someone you trust. If you don’t have a close friend on campus, call a friend at home. You can also talk to your parents, a trusted adult or a counsellor.
2) Start small and ask for a plan of action.
If you are being bullied, for example in a communication class, tell the teacher. If the bully is a member of your sports team, contact the coach. If the bully is another student in the school, contact the Dean of Students. You should not contact the President of the University directly if you are confronted with an incident of harassment, as you have no way to voice your complaint. If you go directly to the President, they will probably ask you who you have already spoken to. Only move to the next stage if the harassment situation is not resolved. But don’t be afraid to climb the ladder until someone deals with the situation.
When you report harassment, know what the action plan is. For example, will the person you contact check your records, talk to the harasser or interview witnesses? If so, insist that the university first take action to protect you from further harassment. If the harasser is your roommate, you should also request a new room assignment before the university discusses the harassment with your roommate. Remember that you have little say in what kind of disciplinary action the university takes. But you do have a say in how to protect yourself from further harm. Emphasise your fear of retaliation. Remember to write down what was said, the date, time and any other relevant information.
3) Take care of yourself
Once you have spoken to the school and are satisfied that things are being handled properly, focus on your needs. Bullying is a traumatic situation and sometimes students become depressed or nervous. You may also have physical complaints such as headaches, stomach aches or insomnia that need to be treated1.
You should also think about how to prevent bullying on campus and how to defend yourself in such situations.
4) Follow-up
If the harassment continues or if the university does not keep its promises, contact your contact person. Find out what progress is being made. And if you feel that your first contact person is not taking the matter seriously, it is time to go to a higher authority. Also document what was said at the follow-up meeting, including the date, time and any other relevant information.
5) Learning from the situation
Even if you are not responsible for the harassment, you must learn from the situation. For example, use the negative situation as an opportunity to motivate and strengthen yourself.
Make sure you do not accept negative messages, but learn to defend yourself against these comments and actions. Focus on perseverance, resilience and assertiveness.
